Letters for a Lost Love, Part 1: The Great Schism

I have been trying to cause a singularity within a gravitational isolation field for the past two hundred years. The grav field was originally invented by the second Daithel of intellect, Daeo, and he was forced to leave behind most of the prototypes and blueprints when Haenga was laid to waste. His working prototype of the grav field failed mid-journey. This was catastrophic because the grav field was the means of our interstellar exodus. Many of the immortals were lost when the prototype failed and Daeo was one of them. We who survived were unable to replicate or repair his grav field and we barely managed to reach our destination planet. 

Back on Tellus, the high eleven folk had apparently been able to recover enough of Daeo’s documents and prototypes from the ruins of Haenga to replicate his grav field. At least, that’s what they said when they showed up on Aelgunim with a polished version of the grav field over a thousand years after the fall of Haenga. At first, I was infuriated by the fact that the mortals were able to recover the grav field technology before I could. Then, I found solace in knowing that they had access to many of the blueprints and it still took them a thousand years to successfully build it. In addition to that, they’re still shortsighted, for they don’t see the much grander application of the technology.

I suppose the invention is still fresh to them, considering it’s only been about three mortal generations since their first successful prototype. They only live a hundred twenty years, after all. Also, their first use of the tech brought them to the “gods of old,” as they call us. Based on our somewhat deserved title, I can see how they were generally sidetracked from deeper study of the gravitational isolation field. It must have been quite a shock to behold the immortals and especially my wife, from a mortal perspective. My wife is the most beautiful of all the immortals, the Daithel of wisdom and the goddess of beauty. 

Regardless, I still find it difficult to believe that in the past two centuries of visitations from mortals, none have come to me. No elf, dwarf or human has sought my opinion regarding their grav field technology. I am Daeo’s successor!  I’m the current Daithel of intellect and I know everything that has ever been discovered! Ungrateful buffoons. If they knew half of what I know, their brains would melt. On second thought, they might be afraid. Besides, I suppose it would be too much to expect any mortal to theorize as deep as I have. After all, I’ve been working on this experiment for two centuries. Two centuries with no progress. I have yet to break through.

My goal is to prove a pivotal theory of mine. The basis for this theory is rooted in one of the ancient prophecies. The prophecy goes something like, “A day will come when men rule over Telu. When the worlds bend to the will of the wise. These men will cross the void and conquer Her.” Many have discounted this bit of prophecy as nonsense, but not me. Through my research, I’ve reached the conclusion that there must be worlds beyond the void. It’s a mathematical necessity! The second line mentions, “worlds,” plural. That's why I find such deep significance in this prophecy. 

Some have said that the prophecy is referring to planets, with men crossing the vacuum of space, thus conquering Telu’s boundaries. The trouble with that argument is that no one ever wrote, “the void,” to mean the vacuum of space in those days. I had the benefit of being born shortly after the prophecy was written. Four thousand years ago, the vacuum of space was only ever called, “the emptiness,” or, “space.” It is my belief that through communion with other worlds, other universes, we might become greater in knowledge and thus “conquer” the mystery of Telu. I know that a singularity leads into the void, but a natural one would send you to the deepest depths. If, however, that singularity was stabilized by the gravitic force of a gravitational isolation field, it might just barely breach the surface of the void and thus be closer to other worlds.

Do not take me for a fool for not having completed this. I know, I have the grav field, so why can’t I just do it? It’s complicated! That’s why! I know how to form a singularity and a grav field. Separately, those are easy tasks. It’s forming a singularity within a properly calibrated grav field that’s a problem. As soon as the implosion generator switches on, the power for it just dissipates, no matter how much energy is used. I performed every possible mental analysis on the implosion generator with no luck. I tested it hundreds of times between stellar systems and it forms a singularity there just fine. For some reason, the grav field drains the compression catalyst. I’ve considered the possibility that the gravity of my own sun might be disrupting the catalyst compression matrices, but I’ve proven it to be false. The gravity of my home star does not disrupt any functionality. There were some... unintended damages to Borothom’s orbiting yeast farms during my attempt to prove this, but I think I covered it up pretty well. I doubt he’ll find out. 

Either way, I’ve proven it should work in-system. I’m on the seventy-eighth redesign of the field and the ninetieth redesign of the generator. Technically I didn’t redesign the generator each time. Sometimes I only adjusted the power levels and matrices for the compression catalysts. 

My wife used to help me with all my experiments, but she doesn’t approve of my current venture. Over the millennia, I’ve sought deeper understanding of our universe and I’ve uncovered great secrets of Telu. She’s always been there to help me when I needed it, but this experiment has been different. She doesn’t approve. She keeps saying that it’s not right. That if Meldul created other universes, He would provide a simpler and less destructive way to get there. She says that it’s not like Meldul to make anything discoverable in such a volatile way. Her constant, repetitious objections have become little more than nagging at this point. 

I thought only mortals were capable of that, but apparently my immortal pride has blinded me to our faults. Wait a moment... Something about the thought of nagging gives me an idea. If I draw energy from a star to guarantee sufficient power for the generator while building on a dozen outputs to create a continuous repetition of implosion catalysts while adjusting the field to maintain a small gravitational pull on the implosion, it might cause enough resistance for the singularity to form! Immediately, I leap up from my throne of contemplation and begin working. When I finish putting it all together, I turn on the grav field, adding the component to implement the resistance on the implosion. Then I turn on the generator, activating the stellar siphon and then I wait. 

Exploding matter being forced inward again in a nagging repetition. Explosions and small implosions over and over. Then at the end of the third cycle, the compression catalysts collapse all the way into a singularity and a black tear in reality forms. It works. After two hundred sixteen years, I have finally done it. I’ve ripped a stable hole in reality. The singularity has consumed everything within the field, allowing the rift to widen. Its empty maw gapes hungrily before me. 

Theoretically, having the singularity within the gravitational isolation field should allow the ability for safe passage beyond reality, beyond the void, so long as I surround myself in a redundant grav field in some way. The field allows the singularity to find a gravitational balance by actually being able to consume all matter within its reach. A feat that’s otherwise impossible. I already have a suit with a grav field encompassing it, and that should do just fine. Before I go in, I make sure to build portable versions of my grav field and implosion generator so that I can open up rifts in reality wherever I go. 

In order to make them effective, I combine them into one device. When I’m finished, the device resembles a small cube that fits comfortably in my hand. I’ve designed it so that when I pass through a rift that it has created, the device will absorb all the energy from the rift, causing it to vanish harmlessly. Brilliant, I know. I’m not the Daithel of intellect for nothing. 

I put on my protective suit. It’s skin-tight and thoroughly obscured by a coat and trousers. I need to leave before my wife comes to find me. She might do anything to stop me and violence is not an option against her. I could never hurt my love. I’ll be back before too long anyways. 

Standing before the rift, a shiver runs down my spine and I’m struck with sudden dizziness. Apparently, my body is not as brave as my mind. After a deep breath, I dive into the rift along with my equipment. It’s a jolting, painful experience as I hurtle through the abyssal void and into a realm beyond my own reality. I am within an emptiness, thickening; darkness slowly brightening. Then with a splash, I find myself standing next to a wide puddle of water cut out of the turf. I’m standing in grass, surrounded by trees as well as other puddles, almost identical to the one from which I emerged. The puddles are everywhere. By my strong mental senses, I can tell that this place is hardly even a universe. Its dimensions are subtle and indistinct. They’re muddled, as though many others merge into them. This is a place between other universes and just as I hoped, there are hundreds of them. I’m surprised that there is anything other than the void between realities, but it is a relief. Whole realities lay beneath the waters of each puddle. I can feel it. Each shallow pool is a portal to another infinite reality. There might be an infinite number of realities, based on my surroundings. It would be best to prove my theories still more, by diving into an alternate reality before making my way back into my own. I want evidence to shove in the Council’s face so that they cannot ridicule me for being unwise. I will show them wisdom. I will show them a true discovery. I quickly place a beacon in the ground next to the portal I came out of and then jump into one of the adjacent portals. Going through water into mist, I eventually find myself hurtling through space, a new reality, then my feet find the ground of a planet that obviously supports life. 

There are all sorts of plants around me, and animals rushing to and fro amongst them. Every organism in sight is utterly different in color, shape, and attitude to those of Telu. Even by the feeling of the ground, I can tell this place does not follow the same laws as my own reality. This is a place like out of one of Esilla’s old fairytales. Gravity is not an absolute law here and there’s no gravitational catalyst to guide it. Some of the creatures float about, spinning and twirling through the air as if there were no gravity at all. 

A creature emerges from behind a tree with the sound of intelligent thought coming from his mind. He looks right at me, and by his thoughts, I can tell that he knows I am not from this universe and when I respond with a look and a thought, he sees that I have great power and he continues to talk to me through our minds. 

I learn that his race was made in a universe that fosters the ability to bend reality at will. To change the fabric of this universe with a single word or thought. Over several days, he teaches me some of this power. In order to show him the same kindness he showed me, I decide to explain my technological method of creating rifts between the worlds, but as soon as I open a rift, the man is stricken with terror and flees, as though for his life. A mere fool. I will learn more about bending reality another time. I’ve spent too many days here. So, I open a new rift and travel back to the forest and then back through the portal from whence I came. 

When my feet find the familiar stone floor of my lab, I’m greeted with a deep empty feeling. Suddenly desperate for the presence of others because I can’t feel anyone with my mind, I run to the door that leads outside. I open it, only to find the planet of the immortals barren. My people have abandoned Aelgunim. The streets are empty and everything in sight is dead. Everything is brown, black or gray. Dust and dirt cover the city. The stonework has all crumbled. I step out of my lab and find that there’s a note on the door. Unlike the rest of my surroundings, the paper is new, untainted by the weathering of time. 

Dear F,

I’ve waited for a thousand years for you to come back. How I wish you would’ve abandoned your abominable experiment. Meldul forbade us to abide here any longer because of your rift in Telu. As far as we can tell, the mortals are all gone and we can’t figure out why or how. Your grav field has been leaking traces of the void and it’s been poisoning everything on Aelgunim. I cannot wait any longer for you, my love. So, I am going to follow you into the dark. If you find this and not me, I am out looking for you beyond our reality.

Love, T

I lost her. In my hubris, I abandoned my wife and now she is a thousand years removed from me. Suddenly, I feel the ground begin to quake. Then a foreign thought like that of Telu herself, overwhelms my mind, “GO AND NEVER RETURN!” 

I’m struck with vertigo as I find myself hurtling through space and out of the portal of my home world and into the forest between realities. I land hard on the ground next to it. When I look back, there’s a terrible cloaked figure standing in the puddle. I can sense its intention. I can’t feel who or what it is, but I can feel its single-minded determination. This is a servant of Meldul and if I were to try to enter my world, I would not live to see it.

So, I wander. Years go by and I keep wandering. I maintain distance from the portal to my home universe because of the cloaked figure. I try one reality in search of my wife. I spend decades searching, but I find nothing, so I leave... I try another... I leave... Another.... Leave.....

She is gone. I have lost her to the endless labyrinth of worlds. The portals go on and on eternally. Each time I try one that I have been in before, I find time is against me. I come back to a world to find centuries have gone by, or else find myself three millennia in the past from my previous visit. Meldul has set up time itself as my nemesis.

My love, if only I had not been so foolish. If only I had heeded your wisdom, but now... instead...

I wander...

lost…

in the dark.

Dearest T,

I cannot count the ages since I have lost you. Have I gone mad? I have searched so many worlds. I have endured millions of years in a single universe only to find it is not the one you are lost in. My fault... My fault you are gone. I worry I will never find you and I worry you are not well. I fear for you.

Love, F

Dear T, 

What am I?? I am DEATH!! I have driven you out! I have set myself beyond the heavens and the heavens have come crashing down around me! I am the darkness. I am lost, even inside of myself! I wonder, will you find me one day only to find me with a broken mind? My life is endless, but surely so is my torment. Surely so is my pain. I have picked the flower and planted the weed. Thusly I have poisoned the worlds. 

F

My dearest T,

My love, my love, I cannot dwell any longer on my madness. I don’t even know if you are getting these letters, I only know that I have ruined our life. I only know that all I can do is search. I will search until no new worlds have yet been born. I will search until I have been through all histories of all universes. No stone will I leave unturned, no city unsearched. I will look for you always. In the meantime, I will not turn a blind eye on the needy any longer. I will no longer run from the will of Meldul. I have learned to use my magic, my technology, my power, to find the dawn of each world that I enter. That way I might live through the whole of each worlds history and be sure whether or not you have entered it. The only way I can ever be sure to find you is to live through all histories. The memory of your love drives me ever onward. I hope that I will one day find my way to you.

Love, your husband F

Dear T,

I am weary. I’ve guided the course of so many civilizations, always hoping you will show up. How long have I endured this life? For some ages I wander, helping the poor and helpless that I come across, just hoping for a sign of you. For some ages I take greater roles for the betterment of entire civilizations. I once met a man of a race like men, but with four eyes and arms. He had wings and his people dwelt in caves carved out of the mountains of their realm. The man was an outcast, so I befriended him and together we discovered much of his world, traveling through the skies alighting on mountaintops for rest. We enjoyed discussion and storytelling. He loved to hear about the other worlds I had seen. Once, we found a pit that led all the way through the crust of their planet. Beneath the crust was an underground world with an entirely separate society of dwarf-like beings. Together we united the two societies. To him, it was like he got to be a part of a whole other world, just as in my own tales. We did much together, but eventually, I watched my friend grow old. I wept when he died. It almost seems pointless to befriend anyone. Most people among the various realities are mortal... or become mortal. Immortality and divine power are gifts given sparingly. I am so alone. I no longer know how old I am. I only know that I have watched thousands of realities come to their end and face rebirth. It seems as though nearly all worlds are mortal. Meldul in all His names, always says there will be a rebirth, but never am I allowed to stay to witness it. The first time it happened, He actually spoke to me and told me that you would not be allowed to see such things either, so I know that I will not miss you because of leaving. How many worlds are left to search? How many millennia more must I endure?  If you find this, if you can get back from whatever world you have found yourself in, please stay here, between worlds. I miss you.

Love, F

To be continued...

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